A Letter of Complaint to Sir Richard Branson

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The following is a real letter currently circulating the web, it was sent to Sir Richard Branson after a flight from Mumbai/Bombay to London.

REF: Mumbai to Heathrow 7th December 2008

I love the Virgin brand, I really do which is why I continue to use it despite a series of unfortunate incidents over the last few years. This latest incident takes the biscuit.

Ironically, by the end of the flight I would have gladly paid over a thousand rupees for a single biscuit following the culinary journey of hell I was subjected to at thehands of your corporation.

Look at this Richard. Just look at it: [see image 1, above].

I imagine the same questions are racing through your brilliant mind as were racing through mine on that fateful day. What is this? Why have I been given it? What have I done to deserve this? And, which one is the starter, which one is the desert?

You don’t get to a position like yours Richard with anything less than a generous sprinkling of observational power so I KNOW you will have spotted the tomato next to the two yellow shafts of sponge on the left. Yes, it’s next to the sponge shaft without the green paste. That’s got to be the clue hasn’t it. No sane person would serve a desert with a tomato would they. Well answer me this Richard, what sort of animal would serve a desert with peas in: [see image 2, above].

I know it looks like a baaji but it’s in custard Richard, custard. It must be the pudding. Well you’ll be fascinated to hear that it wasn't custard. It was a sour gel with a clear oil on top. It’s only redeeming feature was that it managed to be so alien to my palette that it took away the taste of the curry emanating from our miscellaneous central cuboid of beige matter. Perhaps the meal on the left might be the desert after all.

Anyway, this is all irrelevant at the moment. I was raised strictly but neatly by my parents and if they knew I had started desert before the main course, a sponge shaft would be the least of my worries. So lets peel back the tin-foil on the main dish and see what’s on offer.

I’ll try and explain how this felt. Imagine being a twelve year old boy Richard. Now imagine it’s Christmas morning and you’re sat their with your final present to open. It’s a big one, and you know what it is. It’s that Goodmans stereo you picked out the catalogue and wrote to Santa about.

Only you open the present and it’s not in there. It’s your hamster Richard. It’s your hamster in the box and it’s not breathing. That’s how I felt when I peeled back the foil and saw this: [see image 3, below].

Now I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking it’s more of that Baaji custard. I admit I thought the same too, but no. It’s mustard Richard. MUSTARD. More mustard than any man could consume in a month. On the left we have a piece of broccoli and some peppers in a brown glue-like oil and on the right the chef had prepared some mashed potato. The potato masher had obviously broken and so it was decided the next best thing would be to pass the potatoes through the digestive tract of a bird.

Once it was regurgitated it was clearly then blended and mixed with a bit of mustard. Everybody likes a bit of mustard Richard.

By now I was actually starting to feel a little hypoglycaemic. I needed a sugar hit. Luckily there was a small cookie provided. It had caught my eye earlier due to it’s baffling presentation: [see image 4, below].

It appears to be in an evidence bag from the scene of a crime. A CRIME AGAINST BLOODY COOKING. Either that or some sort of back-street underground cookie, purchased off a gun-toting maniac high on his own supply of yeast. You certainly wouldn’t want to be caught carrying one of these through customs. Imagine biting into a piece of brass Richard. That would be softer on the teeth than the specimen above.

I was exhausted. All I wanted to do was relax but obviously I had to sit with that mess in front of me for half an hour. I swear the sponge shafts moved at one point.

Once cleared, I decided to relax with a bit of your world-famous onboard entertainment. I switched it on: [see image 5, below].

I apologise for the quality of the photo, it’s just it was incredibly hard to capture Boris Johnson’s face through the flickering white lines running up and down the screen. Perhaps it would be better on another channel: [see image 6, below].

Is that Ray Liotta? A question I found myself asking over and over again throughout the gruelling half-hour I attempted to watch the film like this. After that I switched off. I’d had enough. I was the hungriest I’d been in my adult life and I had a splitting headache from squinting at a crackling screen.

My only option was to simply stare at the seat in front and wait for either food, or sleep. Neither came for an incredibly long time. But when it did it surpassed my wildest expectations: [see image 7, below].

Yes! It’s another crime-scene cookie. Only this time you dunk it in the white stuff.

Richard…. What is that white stuff? It looked like it was going to be yoghurt. It finally dawned on me what it was after staring at it. It was a mixture between the Baaji custard and the Mustard sauce. It reminded me of my first week at university. I had overheard that you could make a drink by mixing vodka and refreshers. I lied to my new friends and told them I’d done it loads of times. When I attempted to make the drink in a big bowl it formed a cheese Richard, a cheese. That cheese looked a lot like your baaji-mustard.

So that was that Richard. I didn’t eat a bloody thing. My only question is: How can you live like this? I can’t imagine what dinner round your house is like, it must be like something out of a nature documentary.

As I said at the start I love your brand, I really do. It’s just a shame such a simple thing could bring it crashing to it’s knees and begging for sustenance.

Yours Sincererly

XXXX

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Gordon Brown IS to Blame

By KEITH MARSDEN From today's Wall Street Journal Europe.

Shocked by the parliamentary expenses scandal and suffering from the recession, British voters have shown their displeasure with Gordon Brown's government. Labour was trounced in local and European elections earlier this month.

Despite this electoral drubbing, Labour lawmakers expressed their confidence in the prime minister on June 8. Given his supposedly successful management of the economy while chancellor of the exchequer, the majority felt that he was best qualified to lead Britain out of the recession, which, they claim, was caused by external forces, not by Mr. Brown's policies.

The facts show otherwise. Britain's economic downturn began when its house price and household debt bubbles inevitably burst, beginning with the run on Northern Rock in September 2007. These bubbles had swollen to higher levels, relative to average price and income levels respectively, than in the U.S. and other major economies.

In relation to their long-term average, British house prices soared by 88.5% between 1997 and 2007, according to the OECD. In the U.S. the rise was 64.5%. Britain's household debt rose to 176.9% of disposable income in 2007 from 104.8% in 1997. During the same period, U.S. household debt rose only to 105.8% of disposable income from 64.3% in 1997. The increases in Germany and France were considerably lower.

Gordon Brown tolerated and even encouraged the formation of these bubbles for several reasons. The traditional sources of Britain's economic strength, the mining and manufacturing industries, shrank during his term as chancellor. Total mining sector output, including oil and natural gas, dropped by 31% between 2000 and 2007. Total manufacturing production was stagnant during this period.

The gross value, in inflation-adjusted prices, of output from all production industries combined fell by 3% between 2000 and 2007. Their employment level dropped by nearly 1.1 million over the same period. These trends were not an inevitable result of shifts in comparative advantages that are said to occur in advanced economies. Real manufacturing output rose at an average annual rate of 2.2% in the U.S., 1.2% in Germany and 1.1% in France between 2000 and 2006, according to the World Bank.

Eager to achieve the illusion of steady progress in the overall economy, Mr. Brown needed the rapid expansion of financial services, and the real estate and business services industries. Their output soared by 48% and 33% respectively from 2000 to 2007, compared with 19% for the overall economy. Their combined employment level reached nearly 6.7 million in 2007, an increase of more than one million.

Rapid expansion of consumer credit in turn boosted demand for wholesale and retail products and services. The booming financial and real estate sectors, with their inflated salaries, bonuses, and profits generated by unsustainably rapid credit growth, also filled Mr. Brown's tax coffers.

Thus, despite the decline in corporate and personal income and national insurance tax revenues from the production industries, he was able to fulfill Labour's 1997 election promise of expanding public services. The output of health and social services increased by 26.3% from 2000 to 2007. Employment in the category "other service activities," which includes public administration and government services, grew by 1.3 million between 2000 and 2007, reaching almost 10 million -- nearly a third of all British jobs.

So the boom in the financial and real estate sectors served Mr. Brown's political interests well. And he was by no means a passive bystander to their growth. He urged them along in several policy speeches. Introducing on April 1, 2005, a policy document entitled "Homebuy: Expanding the Opportunity to Own," he insisted that "this Britain of ambition and aspiration is a Britain where more and more people must and will have the chance to own their own homes."

Ignoring the inability of many house buyers to pay their mortgages, he touted this message to City bankers in successive annual speeches at the Mansion House in London, promising them "light-touch regulation." Already in 1997 he transferred the responsibility for bank regulation from the Bank of England to the inexperienced Financial Services Authority. He also curbed the central bank's ability to keep asset inflation in check by removing housing costs from the price index.

Mr. Brown also repeatedly praised the City's "innovative skills," bragging in 2006 that it was responsible for 40% of the world's over-the-counter derivatives trade -- which includes the now infamous repackaged subprime mortgages. He gave financial institutions a false sense of security by telling them on June 16, 2004, that "I am determined to ensure that we can lock in greater stability not just for a year, or for an economic cycle, but in this generation."

With this assurance from the chancellor, how could anyone expect bankers to forego juicy profits and bonuses by avoiding innovative but unduly risky practices? Because of the large size and global reach of Britain's financial sector, and the many newfangled financial instruments it created and marketed, Mr. Brown cannot honestly deny all responsibility for Britain's recession.

Given these historic facts, Britain's Labour legislators should think again about sticking with the prime minister. Choosing a new leader with integrity and managerial competence is the party's best chance to win greater respect from voters.

Mr. Marsden, a member of the Council of the Centre for Policy Studies, was formerly an operations adviser at the World Bank and senior economist at the International Labour Organization.

Para los hispanohablantes...

Hoy, encontré este en Youtube, es una llamada a una mujer en España, ella piensa que ha ganado un mono.

Pienso que necesitan una traducción en inglés.

Muy gracioso!!

Gordon Brown's Private, Non-Legal Inquiry into the Iraq War

Gordon Brown's reluctance to involve lawyers in an inquiry into the Iraq War is absurd and reveals that we cannot expect a sound testimony or meaningful results. The efficacy of the inquiry is already questionable since it has been made clear that it will be held in private, thereby denying the public the opportunity to evaluate the process. The inquiry will also lack the power to subpoena witnesses and the ability to inquisitively cross-examine them according to the established methods of the legal system. Furthermore, any conclusions will undoubtedly be made unreliable by the fact that witnesses will not be questioned under oath. This merely constitutes the latest example of the Prime Minister's adherence to serving his own interests.

Chinese Growing Pains - Problems for the US and the World

As attempts to elevate the US-Chinese bilateral relationship get underway through the creation of a G-2 to address global problems such as the international financial crisis, the proliferation of weapons of mass destruction and climate change, it is important to remember that such a strong relationship between the two countries does not already exist because their values, capabilities and interests have always been mismatched. Instead, the US should seek the assistance of the international community to deal with the problems created by China's rise.

Much of China's incompatibility with the West stems from its need for export markets and resources and its determination to not use its economic leverage for political gains. These values often bring China into opposition with the West's efforts to prevent human rights abuses in the developing world in the following ways:

• China's ongoing arms trade in Sudan and Zimbabwe has contributed to instability there, despite being urged by the rest of the world to restrain weapons sales.

• The Chinese concept of sovereignty has prevented it from supporting humanitarian intervention into countries where its state-owned businesses have vast resource holdings and development interests, such as Angola, the Democratic Republic of the Congo and Myanmar. In September 2007, China and Russia blocked a UN Security Council resolution that condemned Myanmar for using force against Buddhist monks that were leading antigovernment protests. Instead, China insisted that these actions were merely an internal affair.

• China opposes sanctions against Iran due to its growing dependence on imported oil and gas.

• A lack of transparency and accountability in China's authoritarian system inevitably makes cooperation on issues such as product safety difficult. The economic incentives felt by local actors to maintain the status quo undermine efforts to comply with international obligations.

• A lack of transparency with regards to military capabilities may allow China, as the weaker power, to use uncertainty as a deterrent. The US believes that transparency would allow China's neighbours to gauge its intentions and avoid mishaps.

• The US wants China to reform its currency and to enact effective intellectual property rights, whereas China aims to conduct business in the way it sees fit.

• The Chinese government's strategy of aggressively promoting growth through investments by state-owned entities, and accompanying this with regulatory measures to ensure the state's continued dominance of the economy, not only reverses previous market-based reforms and privatisation but also stifles foreign and domestic competitors within China. However, this largely reflects the current global trend of state capitalism, whereby states have rejected the free-market doctrine through excessive intervention to secure the survival of key industries. In China it is doubtful that these interventions will be temporary, and the fear is that politicians will over-regulate the economy, making it inefficient, corrupt and stripping it of its ability to innovate.

The primary goal for the US must therefore remain true market-oriented reform in China through greater liberalisation and a commitment that Beijing will open state-owned companies to foreign investors. Resolutions of other issues must be pursued with the help of the countries over which China believes it wields considerable influence; the developing world. The US must therefore engage with these new allies to fulfil its objectives.

A Very Iranian Democracy

"The elections are a matter for the Iranian people, but if there are serious questions that are now being asked about the conduct of the elections, they have got to be answered" Gordon Brown - Unelected Prime Minister of Britain

Gordon Brown can have no criticisms of the Iranian elections. After the victory of Mahmoud Ahmadinejad in the recent elections, it is rich for a man who was;

-Not elected by his own party to be leader.
-Not elected by the people to be leader.
-Only elected in a safe Labour seat in Kirkcaldy and Cowdenbeath, which quite frankly a sack of potatoes could win with a Labour rosette pinned on it. (I would also like to add that this sack of potatoes could probably do a finer job managing a G8 country)
-Has filled the cabinet with the likes of the unelected, disgraced Lord Mandleson, "The Prince of Darkness" who is now as good as number 2, aswell as Lords Adonis.

Brown should spend more time thinking about an election domestically rather than commenting on those of other nations.

Gordon Brown Cannot Count

Today in Prime Minister's Questions, Brown was out by over a factor of 1000 in his quotes on public spending. He refers to pubic spending in terms of 'millions' rather than 'billions'. If only this were the case, his manic spending binge would not have crippled the country as much.

He criticises the Conservatives for wanting to cut public spending by 10%. The only criticism I will make here is that this is not enough! Let me put it simply for you Gordon in terms of small scale economics.

"Mr and Mrs Jones and Family live comfortably, they take out credit cards and loans and begin to spend more than they can afford. Mrs Jones loses her job (political correctness in action here!) and their income is reduced. They DON'T keep on spending, they cut back and spend within their means."

Brown and lets not forget Tony Blair should have put money to one side when times were good. Brown is a liar, he promised prudence and could not have broken this promise any more than he has done.